Numb

I felt numb when you broke the news.

I tried to cry, but the tear was just so fake.
I tried to scream, but I lost my voice.


My daily routings keep on going.

I went to meet up with Carly, I went to see Emma, I went to Trattoria, then I got home.

I still laugh, I still smile, I still hug friends, nothing really changed.

I know I should be sad, but I'm not as sad as I thought I would.
I know I should be depressed and shot down, but I'm still out there socializing.


Emma is the closest person I could find in this town, on this land. She's a family to me.

I feel guilty when I told her or my close friends about the news.

They told me they are so sorry about my lost, but... I am just too numb I can't even feel how I actually feel about the whole thing. I guess I need time to actually receiving the message in my head, in my heart.


I special ordered a ring.

It's going to be silver with dark fresh water pearl on it. It will be gorgeous, I really can't wait to see it.

I asked them to put words inside the band.

It will be "1921-2008"

It's for you.

It's for me to celebrate your life, and remembering you.

外婆, Rest in Peace. I love you and I miss you.