The One

As a twenty-something girl, conversations about "the one" just keeps on popping out. If he is the one for me, the the dress is the perfect one, if... a lot of things. For me, it has always been "if chemistry is the career for me."

I keep on questioning myself is not because of I don't like it or I know it is totally a mismatch. I ask myself this question is just simply because of I want to make sure that I am ready to face whatever I am getting myself into. I will panic once in a while about the slight chance that maybe chemistry is not the one. As the graduation date approaching, I start to panicking about maybe, just maybe, chemistry is not the one. Maybe chemistry does not fits me. Or maybe I have a wrong attitude, it is not chemistry fitting me, but I'm not the on who can fits chemistry.

Maybe it is not about finding a career that fits me but careers that I can trim myself and fit in. Maybe there is no such a thing called "I", maybe "I" is just a big fucked up blur and the job here is make the fucked up "I" become less fucked up. Maybe "I" don't even exist, and all the "I" memories are just reflections of other people's experiences. How sad will that world be?

What am I good at? What will be a good thing for me to do as a career/profession?