The Visitor

It's a cute story about love. Love between friends, between families, and people. It's a depressing movie about people who hides behind their mask.


Oh... and I hate airports.

敗犬

「美麗又能幹的女人，只要過了適婚年齡還是單身，就是一隻敗犬；平庸又無能的女人，只要結婚生子，就是一隻勝犬。」─酒井順子





I don't know if I want to be a "勝犬", somehow I know "敗犬" fits me more. ;)

I thought..

i thought I could wait
I thought you would wait
I thought I would hear one more "xiao-hui" from you
I thought You would cook another Chinese New Year's dinner

But I was wrong
You are gone

the pictures says you are gone, but I can't believe it
People said you are gone, but I don't want to believe it

Sorry I lied, I really thought I would've go home before Thanksgiving started.

外婆、我對不住您。
那一聲“小慧你好可愛“還要多久才等的到？
那一句“多吃一點呀、你都沒吃獅子頭“還要等多久？

Should've, could've, would've
I'm sorry... I'm really really sorry...
Love you and miss you

Big Bang Theory and a Saturnalia miracle

Wish everyone a warm and delightful Holiday. May all your wishes come true in 2009.

Memorial Ring

The ring for me to remember my grandma is done.

I wish I was there for her, but I wasn't.
I should've gone back, but I didn't.
I could've been there with her, but I didn't make it.

I thought you would be here with us for longer, but you didn't.

Your smile were so beautiful in the picture. I am so proud to be your grandchildren and I wish I can make you proud, somehow.

I was looking at the picture, trying to find you on my face. I guess I got your eyebrow.
Every time when I see my mom in me, I know it is also you.

I wish God gave you 6 more months, just 6 more. So I can see you. So you can see Xiao-Yu get married.

I'm still learning everyday, learning to face the fact that when I got home, I will never see your smile again. I will never hear you saying "Xiao-Hui, you are so cute", I will never hear your giggling.

No more your best lion-head, fish, and dumpling.
No more eating red chili on the toilet.
No more, no more...

I miss you telling me that you don't like Japanese channels.
I miss you telling me to eat more.
I miss you watching TV and knit.
I miss you saying how you are taking care of grandpa.
I miss...

It's funny. The more I tried to remember you, the fuzzier you are.

I love you and I miss you. 6 months... why can't God wait for another 6 months.

Team Super Bueno Chou Potluck

It was a farewell potluck. Kind of feed the situation I am in.

1. Mercy, a wonderful friend, is leaving.
2. At the very same time, on the other side of the earth, it was my beloved grandma's funeral.

I wish I could enjoy and focus on Mercy more, but... I was a bit occupied with finally being able to clean up my emotions. Thanks to Sherri, Jen, and Mercy being so understanding and supporting. I am definitely lucky to have you girls.

It has been a delightful time hanging out with you, Mercy. It is always fun when we go out and dance, and we should definitely do that soon in Ecuador. :) Safe trip home, I'll miss you a ton.

Numb

I felt numb when you broke the news.

I tried to cry, but the tear was just so fake.
I tried to scream, but I lost my voice.


My daily routings keep on going.

I went to meet up with Carly, I went to see Emma, I went to Trattoria, then I got home.

I still laugh, I still smile, I still hug friends, nothing really changed.

I know I should be sad, but I'm not as sad as I thought I would.
I know I should be depressed and shot down, but I'm still out there socializing.


Emma is the closest person I could find in this town, on this land. She's a family to me.

I feel guilty when I told her or my close friends about the news.

They told me they are so sorry about my lost, but... I am just too numb I can't even feel how I actually feel about the whole thing. I guess I need time to actually receiving the message in my head, in my heart.


I special ordered a ring.

It's going to be silver with dark fresh water pearl on it. It will be gorgeous, I really can't wait to see it.

I asked them to put words inside the band.

It will be "1921-2008"

It's for you.

It's for me to celebrate your life, and remembering you.

外婆, Rest in Peace. I love you and I miss you.